Archive for the ‘child abuse’ Category

Many parents believe that most children are groomed for sexual abuse online or face-to-face by a stranger. But many more times they are groomed by someone they know. Sometimes it’s someone who is living right in their own home! A step parent or live-in partner, a family member or relative. In fact, children who live with a single parent that has a live-in partner that is not the biological parent of the child are 30 times more likely to be victims of child sexual abuse than children living with both biological parents. But alert parents can often stop a sex offender before he or she harms a child.

Here are some of the things every parent should know: 

  • One in four children are sexually abused before their 18th birthday.
  • Ninety percent of children are sexually abused by people they know well, including immediate family members.
  • Child sex abuse isn’t limited to sexual intercourse. It also includes oral sex, genital contact, deliberately introducing a child to pornography and exposing one’s genitals to a child.
  • In the vast majority of cases, children who report sex abuse are telling the truth.
  • Fewer than 5 percent of children who have been sexually abused actually report it, and fewer than 5 percent of perpetrators are arrested.
  • Some sex offenders make a concerted effort to get access to children and often target parents and children they see as vulnerable.
  • Single mothers and their children are especially vulnerable, since many of them have little or no outside support.
  • Sex offenders often position themselves as the “hero” saving the mother and child from a difficult or unhappy situation.
  • Sex offenders don’t pounce immediately. They may spend weeks or months “grooming” a child, working to make a child feel special by showering him or her with gifts, special activities and outings, and attention. They may approach the mother with offers to lessen the burden on her, such as watching a child after school every day for free.
  • Sex offenders will work to break down a child’s natural inhibitions. These behaviors include “accidental” touching, insisting that the child sit on the offender’s lap, roughhousing, tickling, massages,”accidentally” walking in on a child undressing, showering, or using the toilet. It usually escalates later to showing pornography to a child, photographing a child (in either sexual or non-sexual poses) and providing a child with alcohol or drugs.
  • Sex offenders rarely stop at one victim.

Most parents never suspect that a family member or a trusted friend would sexually abuse their child so they don’t even realize that person has been grooming their child until after the abuse has happened. We must understand that groomers will often go to great lengths not to be identified and the signs of grooming aren’t always obvious.

If a child is being groomed by someone in the home they may:

  • Be very secretive about what they are doing and where they go.
  • Spend an inordinate amount of time alone with the much older person.
  • Come home with gifts such as new toys, clothes or cell phones.
  • Have unexplained changes in behavior or personality.
  • Inappropriate sexual behavior for their age.

Once they have established trust, groomers will exploit the relationship by making the child (and their mother) feel dependent on them. Which is why many mothers may hide the abuse rather than report it. The abuser will use any means of power and control to make a child and mother believe that they have no choice but to allow the abuser to do what they want. To hide their abuse the abuser may introduce “secrets” as a way to control or frighten the child. In many cases the abuser will convince the child’s mother that it is the child’s fault in order to stop them telling anyone about the abuse.

Because child sex abuse has become so prevalent in our society today, it is important for parents to be vigilant in protecting their children from predators that may be living with them. Even in cases where the abuser is arrested and charged, many times the perpetrator is only sentenced to probation and required to register as a sex offender.

But in many states the Sex Offender Registration law does not have any restrictions on registered sex offenders. This is a common misperception. In Nebraska for example, the SOR law does not have the legal jurisdiction to prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering any facilities, or refrain from living with or socializing with children or other vulnerable persons. The SOR law can only mandate that the offender register his or her required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time. In some cases the perpetrators are even allowed to have contact with their victims!

Why don’t our legislators care more about our children?

A senator is called to, among other things, to:

  • Represent the people and the best interests of his or her legislative district.
  • Right injustices involving the public.
  • Establish state policy by introducing bills to create new programs, modify existing programs, and repeal laws which are no longer needed.

I have written to many senators concerning the outdated SOR laws with no success. Legislators have done little or nothing to change the SOR laws so that victims of child sexual abuse are better protected.

As a parent you must recognize that YOU are responsible to protect your child. You may face a difficult dilemma in these circumstances, but you are not helpless. If your child has disclosed abuse, and your spouse or partner has access to your child, you must deny that access. It is important that your child know that you believe them and support them. It is also important that your child be in ongoing therapy so that they have a safe place to talk about their concerns. By law you may be unable to totally keep them from their abuser, but you can petition the court to only allow the abuser supervised visits with the child. Therapist’s recommendations are often used by the court to determine what is in the best interest of the child’s welfare and safety. It is also important that you be in ongoing therapy as well to address issues related to your child’s abuse.

What else can a parent do?

Keep a log of interactions and concerning behaviors of your child’s abuser. Maintain a log of all suspicious statements made by the child. If the child discloses additional abuse, immediately report to Child Protective Services and to law enforcement. Consult with the child’s therapist and voice your concerns. If child sexual abuse is revealed, by law the therapist must report it. Your hope is that with time and additional reports to Child Protective Services, that the abuser will be arrested and charged.

Talk to your child at an early age. Include sex abuse awareness among the safety precautions you teach your kids. Just as you tell them to watch for cars when crossing the street, teach them that no one should touch their private parts and tell them it’s okay to refuse a hug or other contact that makes them uncomfortable—Regardless if it’s Grandpa Joe or “Mommy’s new friend.”

If you’re squeamish about discussing sex with your kids…Get over it! This is not about you. Let your kids know that they can talk to you about sex and sexual abuse. Give them age-appropriate sex education and use proper names for all body parts. Find books that parents and children can use to help prevent sex abuse.

If your child tells you that he or she has been touched inappropriately, don’t start grilling your child for details. Instead, simply tell them that you believe them; that it’s not their fault; and immediately call law enforcement or the Department of Human Services. Children who are possible sex abuse victims should be interviewed only by professionals. The police and Child Services are trained for this and are always willing to deal with the interview part.

Most of all, trust your gut and stand your ground. If another person’s words or actions regarding your child are setting off alarm bells, say “no.” And if your “no” is ignored, then you need to terminate the relationship.

It is important to know that if you neglect to report the abuse, you may be charged with child endangerment and your child may be removed from your home and placed in foster care.

Other helpful resources:

Darkness 2 Light http://www.d2l.org

Rainn (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) https://www.rainn.org/articles/how-can-i-protect-my-child-sexual-assault

National Sexual Violence Resource Center http://www.nsvrc.org/projects/child-sexual-assault-prevention/preventing-child-sexual-abuse-resources

Many people have been led to believe that the Sex Offender Registration laws of their state protects children from pedophiles that may be living near their home or their children’s school. This is a common misperception. The SOR law in many states does not have the legal jurisdiction to prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering any facilities, or refrain from living with or socializing with children or vulnerable persons. The SOR law can only mandate the offender to register his or her required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

In other words, a registered sex offender is able to legally visit and work at schools, playgrounds, children’s museums, daycare centers and other places where vulnerable children may congregate.

First we have to distinguish between the types of sex offenders. All rapists, whether they are violent or not, are criminals. There are also sex offenders (public exposure, unwanted sexual advances) who, while they committed a crime, are not rapists and who are not violent. But when we are talking about keeping children safe, many parents are concerned about pedophiles. But not all sex offenders are pedophiles. So lumping all sex offenders together does not really add any marginal value to keeping our children safe. The person who got drunk and raped a woman is a criminal, but not a pedophile.

Politicians want you to think that registries are effective because politicians have put a lot of political capital and attention into registries. They want you to think that placing sex offenders on the registry is proof that they are keeping your child safe. But simply focusing on the registry, they neglect to focus on that the real threat to a child. The problem is that the politicians aren’t advocating evidence-based approaches, and aren’t focusing on the fact that more than 90 percent of people who commit child sexual abuse is well known to the victim. The majority of the time that child sex abuse is reported, it is committed by someone who is a trusted family member. On top of that, the majority of children never report sexual abuse when it’s happening. They’re often afraid of their parents’ reactions or fear getting into trouble. They also might believe the abuser when they tell them that something bad would happen if they tell.

We always hear about the sex offender who was on the registry and reoffended, but these high profile cases are reported because they make for good stories for the news media. But such recidivism is not representative of what is going on the majority of the time.

A parent might believe that if they check the local sex offender registry it will help to keep their children safe. The question then is: what else have they done in addition to checking the registry? The people that we need to be worried about the most are not the ones we know are on the sex offender registry.

Children need to be taught safety skills

Parents need to realize that the person most likely to sexually abuse their child is someone they know and trust, and someone who has regular contact with their child. This known and trusted person is likely to violate the trust of the family and child. That is why it is important for a child to have the tools needed to protect themselves from these trusted persons, and to know when to speak up when the trust is violated.

It is not only important for parents to educate their children, but schools need to educate their students too. Because sometimes the abuse is happening at home. And parents and educators need to be properly trained how to identify when a child is being victimized.

I am not advocating that we eliminate sex offender registries. Parents and the public should want to know who has committed sex offenses that may be living near them. And since all criminal records are public information, this information should not be suppressed.

My point is that the sex offender registry is about as effective in stopping child sexual abuse as using a BB gun against a home invader—you might get lucky by using it, but it won’t be a very effective deterrent. The public needs to start to understand that sex offender registries don’t keep people safe the way they think because of the nature of how predators operate when building and then violating trust. That is why the real threat is likely to come from someone known and trusted by the family. The statistics are very clear about this.

Warning Signs

Everyone can take steps to prevent the sexual abuse of children. The web site, stopitnow.org provides prevention tip sheets that can help you take action to keep children and youth safe, whether it’s making a family safety plan, finding a safe school or camp, or safety on the internet.

Signs that a child has been abused:

  • Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects.
  • Nightmares, sleeping problems.
  • Becoming withdrawn or very clingy.
  • Becoming unusually secretive.
  • Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings.
  • Regressing to younger behaviors, e.g. bedwetting, thumb sucking.
  • Unaccountable fear of particular places or people.
  • Outburst of anger.
  • Changes in eating habits.
  • Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts.
  • Self-harm. (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
  • Not wanting to be alone with a particular person.

Behaviors to watch for when adults are with children:

  • Makes others uncomfortable by ignoring social or physical boundaries.
  • Refuses to let a child set any of his or her own limits.
  • Insists on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child even.
  • when the child does not want this physical contact or attention.
  • Frequently walks in on children/teens in the bathroom.
  • Turns to a child for emotional or physical comfort normally shared with adults.
  • Has secret interactions children.
  • Spends excessive time emailing, text messaging or calling children.
  • Insists on or manages to spend uninterrupted time alone with a child.
  • Frequently babysits children for free; takes children on special outings alone; buys children gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason.

Since the courts, judges and politicians will do little or nothing to protect our children from sexual predators, it is up to adults, parents and teachers to educate ourselves and our children on the dangers of sexual abuse.

You can find more tips at: http://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/warning-signs

Over the years I have written songs with lyricist Tom White, who is also my longtime friend and brother in Christ. Even though we are now miles apart we still collaborate on songs through the internet. He recently sent me lyrics to use in a song. I will be working on the music in the coming days, but the words are so intensely descriptive that I couldn’t wait to share them with you.

These Hands by Tom White

They reached down to pick her up, dry her tears then tenderly lifted her off the ground/They brushed off her clothes so gently and then lovingly placed her on the Merry go round/They offer her some ice cream or some candy, a vile threat presented as a special treat/ Warning her that if she shares this secret with anyone she’ll get hurt and end up alone on the street

And those hands—hands that are meant to protect are used to abuse, to injure, and neglect/And those hands—hands that are meant to defend/They rush to crush life to bring about its end/Who will protect the innocent? Who will raise their voice for the silent one? Who will, without fail, shine a light to expose the unspeakable things in shadows done?

Forty five minutes off the bus she finds the streets are cruel/She ran from the prison called home to find more of the same/Her body becomes a token used over and over again by men and women too many to name/She cries out to God for mercy, hoping against hope Where the thought of escape becomes a nightly dream/But each day she’s bought and sold like a piece of meat/And all she can do is silently scream

And those hands—hands that are meant to protect/Are used to abuse, to injure, and neglect/And those hands—hands that are meant to defend/They rush to crush life to bring about its end/Who will protect the innocent? Who will raise their voice for the silent one? Who will, without fail, shine a light to expose the unspeakable things in shadows done?

Your life goes on while children are defiled/The sex traffic lights are all blinking green/If you ignore it soon enough it should go away/Then the problem will be unheard, unknown and unseen/But Christ hears the cries of the least of these/And calls us to be his voice, his hands and feet/To live outside the stained glass windows/So that we, like him, can hear the cries from the street

So that hands—our hands, can truly protect/We can lift up and encourage and deflect/Yes those hands—your hands, can defend/ Like a shepherd, like a brother, like a friend/Protecting the innocent starts with you/Raise your voice and speak up for the silent one/Shine a light so bright that it will expose/The unspeakable things in shadows done

Miryam Rabinowitz is a filmmaker on the east coast who spearheaded “Still Feeling” as an experiment based on her own experiences of childhood sexual abuse. What she found in the research about healing from child sexual abuse was the power of interconnectivity. And that the greatest threat to a victim’s healing process is isolation. The emotional disconnect between victims and their families and communities can be attributed to fear, and an inability to relate to one another.

This film features four artists who are elevating their experiences of child sexual abuse through artistic expression and demonstrate the beauty of human resilience. Rabinowitz  started a Kickstarter campaign where she still needs to raise $15,000 of her $25,000 goal. These funds will be used to begin the production of her first segment.

The goal is for this documentary is for victims to feel validated, and for the people around them to be able to say, “Now I understand.”  

Click here to become a supporter, and visit her website at: www.stillfeeling.org to learn more out the film.

I am a sexually abused child.

I cannot make my own choices.

I cannot speak and be heard.

I cannot vote for change in the court system that is rigged against me.

I cannot control what adults do to my body.

I cannot defend myself against my abuser.

I cannot defend myself against my family when they do not believe me.

I am a sexually abused child. And no one speaks out for me.

1 in 5 children like me are sexually abused in the United States. And 90% of us know who our abuser is—Step-parents, family friends, relatives and babysitters.

I was sexually molested by my step-father when I was only 11 years old. My grandparents let me live with them to protect me from my step-father. I was glad to be away from my step-father, but I missed my mom, my bother and my sister. After two years my step-father was finally brought to trial on charges of felony sexual assault of a minor. Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to testify and he was allowed to plead guilty to misdemeanor sexual assault and was only sentenced to two years probation and required to register as a sex offender. This is not unusual. Approximately 66% of all child sexual abuse charges end in guilty pleas to lesser charges before trial.

Most child molesters are only sentenced to probation and required to register as a sex offender. Many think the Sex Offender Registry law keeps sex offenders away from places where children play, but in many states the Sex Offender Registry law does not prevent a sex offender from visiting schools, playgrounds, children’s museums or even from living with or socializing with other children. The Sex Offender Registry law can only require that the sex offender register their required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

The police do their job and arrest these criminals, but then the lawyers and judges allow them to plead to a lesser charge and hand down light sentences or probation—which places vulnerable children like me in danger. Many times there is more severe punishment for someone who abuses animals than there is for someone who abuses children. I don’t think this is right!

I was lucky. I had grandparents and family members who protected me and helped me get therapy. But many children aren’t so lucky. Some end up in foster care and are abused even more. And lots of times no one believes them, so they run away and end up worse.

You can be a voice for kids like me who cannot speak for themselves:

1. You can write to your senators and people in congress and demand that they make laws that hold convicted sex offenders and the courts accountable for their actions concerning child molesters.

2. You can join an organization that helps prevent sexual child abuse and tell others to join too.

3. You can talk to your children’s school about preventing sexual child abuse.

4. Talk to your kids about sexual child abuse and teach them what to watch out for.

The worst thing you can do is stay quiet about sexual child abuse. If you suspect that a child is in danger, say something.

When most people think of the homeless, they think of the mentally ill, drug addicts or war veterans who somehow lost track of their lives and forgot how to get back to the life they once knew.

But there is a large part that makes up a much darker side of the homeless community: Homeless youth.

Many factors contribute to the overall number of homeless youth each year, but common reasons are family dysfunction, exiting the child welfare or juvenile justice systems, and sexual abuse. Research has shown that 43% of runaway and homeless youth were sexually abused before they left their homes.

These young people often flee abuse at home, but are exposed to further sexual victimization and human trafficking once on the street. One of every three teens on the street will be lured into prostitution within 48 hours of leaving home. And the average age of entry into prostitution is fourteen.

1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys are victims of child sexual abuse in the United States. 69% occurred in the victims’ home. 90% were sexually assaulted by someone they knew well. (A step-parent, relative, family friend or caretaker) The actual number is most likely higher because many incidents go unreported. Children’s Advocacy Centers served more than 311,000 children around the country in 2014. Two-thirds of the children served disclosed sexual abuse. (205,438)

The Trafficking Victims Protection Act (TVPA) defines “severe forms of trafficking in persons” as: sex trafficking in which a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such an act has not attained  years of age.”

The Federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) requires states to develop minimum definitions of abuse or neglect. CAPTA’s definition of sexual abuse includes: “The employment, use, persuasion, inducement, enticement, or coercion of any child to engage in, or assist any other person to engage in, any sexually explicit conduct or simulation of such conduct for the purpose of producing a visual depiction of such conduct; or the rape, and in cases of caretaker or interfamilial relationships, statutory rape, molestation, prostitution, or other form of sexual exploitation of children, or incest with children.”

Last year, the National Center for the Missing & Exploited Children recorded that of the 11,800 endangered runaways, one in five were likely victims of child sex trafficking.

Girls are likely to become victims between the ages of 12 and 14; boys and transgender youths are likely to become victims between the ages of 11 and 13.

These children often grow up in broken and dysfunctional homes where love and affection are absent.  Instead of protection, many times these children receive brutal treatment. Their self-esteem is beaten to the point of feeling unworthy of any respect or fair treatment. They are insulted, humiliated, threatened, yelled at and isolated. They endure repeated sexual abuse—sometimes from several perpetrators.  All of these factors may lead them to start using drugs as a way to cope.

Less than 4% of all adolescents exchange sex for money, however 28% of youth living on the street and 10% of those in shelters engage in what is often referred to as “survival sex”. (Exchanging sex for money, food, drugs or a place to stay) Most of these children come from horrific living conditions; thus, it is easy for them to fall into the trap of sex slavery. They find themselves vulnerable, desperate, and in need of surviving. They require basic needs like food and shelter; therefore, they give into survival sex.

We need to change our mindset and preconceived ideas about these helpless children  that lead us to make erroneous conclusions. Many of us may have looked the other way and denied ourselves the opportunity to help. It may be that the assumptions made in regards to child sexual abuse and the homeless youth are what is preventing us from aiding and reaching out to them. If we did, perhaps there would not be over one million of our youth living on the streets each year in the United States.

More than the 500,000 attended the 2017 Women’s March in Washington D.C. on January 21st to stand up for women’s rights—including health care reform, abortion rights, equal pay for women and protesting sexual assault and the rape culture.

According the statistics on sexual child abuse, out of the 500,000 who attended the Women’s March in Washington,100,000 of them either knew a child who was sexually abused, or was the perpetrator of sexually abusing a child themselves. And and yet no one spoke out against that!

Silence is one of the most common failure in preventing child abuse. In 2 Samuel 13, upon learning that his sister Tamar had been raped by her brother Amnon, Absalom stated, “Keep silent my sister, he is your brother, do not take this matter to heart.” (v. 20) Tragically, not much has changed in over three thousand years. Too many respond to the epidemic of child abuse with the same dangerous silence.  A silence that is too often preferred over acknowledging the existence of such evil within our midst. A silence that is too often preferred over the hard work required to develop and implement effective child protection policies. A silence that is too often preferred over the cries of hurting children.

I for one, will not be silent. I will continue to be the voice of one crying in the wilderness on behalf of those who cannot speak for themselves. Will you join me? Write to your senators, to those who were elected to represent you in congress, and to the president.

Just like those who marched in Washington, we can make it known that we will be silent no more!

https://www.1800runaway.org/runaway-statistics/third-party-statistics/

https://www.nn4youth.org/wp-content/uploads/IssueBrief_Youth_Homelessness.pdf

https://victimsofcrime.org/media/reporting-on-child-sexual-abuse/child-sexual-abuse-statistics

https://www.nsopw.gov/en-US/Education/FactsStatistics?AspxAutoDetectCookieSupport=1

https://www.state.gov/j/tip/laws/61124.htm

https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/capta2010.pdf

According to a 2012 CDC report, child abuse and neglect cost the United States over $124 billion a year! https://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2012/p0201_child_abuse.html

1 out of 5 children are abused, molested or raped every day—Many in their own homes! The prevalence of child sexual abuse is difficult to determine because many times it is not reported. Experts agree that the incidence is far greater than what is reported to authorities. And even when it is reported and the perpetrators are charged, most judges only sentence them to probation and require them to register as a sex offender.

Although many people depend on the Sex Offender Registration law to keep children safe, this is a common misperception.The SOR law in many states does not have the legal jurisdiction to prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering facilities—such as schools, playgrounds, children’s museums, or refrain from living with or socializing with children.The SOR law can only mandate that the offender register his or her required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

Knowing all of this, why is not more being done to prevent this heinous crime? Because in most cases, it does not personally affect people—Not the police officer who was just doing his job; not the attorneys who agreed to plea deals for the perpetrators; and not the judge who only sentence them to probation; and not many who are reading this right now.

At times it seems that people are more outraged about animal abuse than they are about child abuse! Unfortunately, when a child is sexually abused there is no one on TV pleading with the community to help these children. No commercials that tug at our heart strings, showing images of sad children who have been abused and pleading for us to send in a donation of $19.00 a month to fight child sexual abuse. Sexually abused children don’t have anyone to speak out for them. So we must be the ones who speak out for them—and the thousands of other young girls and boys who are victims of this horrific crime.

People at one time or another have spoken about following “the golden rule”. Many of those people do not even realize that the golden rule comes directly from the Bible: “Whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12 )

So what exactly do the Law and the Prophets teach?

“…Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” (Psalm 82:4)

“Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, ‘Behold, we did not know this,’ does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?” (Proverbs 24:11-12)

“If anyone sins because they do not speak up when they hear a public charge to testify regarding something they have seen or learned about, they will be held responsible.” (Leviticus 5:1 NIV)

“Do not stand idly by when your neighbor’s life is threatened. I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:16 NIV)

“Do not place a stumbling block before the blind.” (Leviticus 19:14) This includes the obligation to warn someone from a danger that we are aware of. If you know of someone who is planning to kill people, you are obligated to warn authorities. If we are aware of a sexual predator, we must do everything possible to protect children from him.

Jesus also said, “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.” (Matthew 18:10)

It is our obligation as parents, teachers, writers, legislators, or just plain adult citizens to protect innocent children from these criminal predators. Abuse, whether physical, psychological, emotional or sexual, is a violent crime. Sexually abusing a defenseless child is no different than beating them to cause bodily harm. And because of its terrible long-term effects, child sexual abuse could be much worse.

Child sexual abuse has reached epidemic proportions and must be addressed and brought to the attention of the public to make everyone aware of the dangers, the long-term consequences and the zero-tolerance policy that needs to be applied to every form of child abuse.

Many reading this may say, “But I’m just one person. What can I do?”

Talk to others

Start by having an honest conversation with friends, neighbors and family members about child sexual abuse. If you are certain that there has never been a child molester or a molested child among your friends or family, you’re probably wrong. In spite of the millions of victims in our families, many people stick to their mistaken belief that child molestation has nothing to do with them. To help prevent child molestation from happening to the children closest to you, begin by telling others the basic facts. The less people know, the more they want to pretend that today’s estimated three million sexually abused children don’t exist. By telling the people closest to you the facts, you can help those same people become strong adult protectors of the children closest to you.

Write to your legislators 

Although most legislators pay little or no attention to laws pertaining to sexual child abuse, if enough people would write to their senators and lawmakers, they would be forced to consider the issue.

If you see something, say something

If you suspect a child is being abused or see a situation in which a child is vulnerable, it is your responsibility to inform authorities—even if you are in front of others, or in a public setting. Many States have a toll-free number to call to report suspected child abuse or neglect. To find out where to call, consult the Information Gateway publication, State Child Abuse Reporting Numbers.

Talk to your children 

Have age appropriate, open conversations about our bodies, sex, and boundaries. Teach them that it is “against the rules” for adults to act in a sexual way with them, and use examples. Be sure to mention that the abuser might be an adult friend, family member, or older youth. If a child seems uncomfortable, or resistant to being with a particular adult, ask why. Starting these type of conversations early gives children a foundation for understanding and developing healthy relationships. It also teaches them that they have the right to say “no.”

If we do nothing to protect vulnerable children from sexual abuse, we are just as responsible as the perpetrators who commit these heinous acts.

For more resources visit:

http://www.d2l.org/site/c.4dICIJOkGcISE/b.6035035/k.8258/Prevent_Child_Sexual_Abuse.htm#.WH-BSrGZPVo

https://www.childhelp.org

http://justiceforchildren.org