Many people have been led to believe that the Sex Offender Registration laws of their state protects children from pedophiles that may be living near their home or their children’s school. This is a common misperception. The SOR law in many states does not have the legal jurisdiction to prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering any facilities, or refrain from living with or socializing with children or vulnerable persons. The SOR law can only mandate the offender to register his or her required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

In other words, a registered sex offender is able to legally visit and work at schools, playgrounds, children’s museums, daycare centers and other places where vulnerable children may congregate.

First we have to distinguish between the types of sex offenders. All rapists, whether they are violent or not, are criminals. There are also sex offenders (public exposure, unwanted sexual advances) who, while they committed a crime, are not rapists and who are not violent. But when we are talking about keeping children safe, many parents are concerned about pedophiles. But not all sex offenders are pedophiles. So lumping all sex offenders together does not really add any marginal value to keeping our children safe. The person who got drunk and raped a woman is a criminal, but not a pedophile.

Politicians want you to think that registries are effective because politicians have put a lot of political capital and attention into registries. They want you to think that placing sex offenders on the registry is proof that they are keeping your child safe. But simply focusing on the registry, they neglect to focus on that the real threat to a child. The problem is that the politicians aren’t advocating evidence-based approaches, and aren’t focusing on the fact that more than 90 percent of people who commit child sexual abuse is well known to the victim. The majority of the time that child sex abuse is reported, it is committed by someone who is a trusted family member. On top of that, the majority of children never report sexual abuse when it’s happening. They’re often afraid of their parents’ reactions or fear getting into trouble. They also might believe the abuser when they tell them that something bad would happen if they tell.

We always hear about the sex offender who was on the registry and reoffended, but these high profile cases are reported because they make for good stories for the news media. But such recidivism is not representative of what is going on the majority of the time.

A parent might believe that if they check the local sex offender registry it will help to keep their children safe. The question then is: what else have they done in addition to checking the registry? The people that we need to be worried about the most are not the ones we know are on the sex offender registry.

Children need to be taught safety skills

Parents need to realize that the person most likely to sexually abuse their child is someone they know and trust, and someone who has regular contact with their child. This known and trusted person is likely to violate the trust of the family and child. That is why it is important for a child to have the tools needed to protect themselves from these trusted persons, and to know when to speak up when the trust is violated.

It is not only important for parents to educate their children, but schools need to educate their students too. Because sometimes the abuse is happening at home. And parents and educators need to be properly trained how to identify when a child is being victimized.

I am not advocating that we eliminate sex offender registries. Parents and the public should want to know who has committed sex offenses that may be living near them. And since all criminal records are public information, this information should not be suppressed.

My point is that the sex offender registry is about as effective in stopping child sexual abuse as using a BB gun against a home invader—you might get lucky by using it, but it won’t be a very effective deterrent. The public needs to start to understand that sex offender registries don’t keep people safe the way they think because of the nature of how predators operate when building and then violating trust. That is why the real threat is likely to come from someone known and trusted by the family. The statistics are very clear about this.

Warning Signs

Everyone can take steps to prevent the sexual abuse of children. The web site, stopitnow.org provides prevention tip sheets that can help you take action to keep children and youth safe, whether it’s making a family safety plan, finding a safe school or camp, or safety on the internet.

Signs that a child has been abused:

  • Acting out in an inappropriate sexual way with toys or objects.
  • Nightmares, sleeping problems.
  • Becoming withdrawn or very clingy.
  • Becoming unusually secretive.
  • Sudden unexplained personality changes, mood swings.
  • Regressing to younger behaviors, e.g. bedwetting, thumb sucking.
  • Unaccountable fear of particular places or people.
  • Outburst of anger.
  • Changes in eating habits.
  • Talk of a new, older friend and unexplained money or gifts.
  • Self-harm. (cutting, burning or other harmful activities)
  • Not wanting to be alone with a particular person.

Behaviors to watch for when adults are with children:

  • Makes others uncomfortable by ignoring social or physical boundaries.
  • Refuses to let a child set any of his or her own limits.
  • Insists on hugging, touching, kissing, tickling, wrestling with or holding a child even.
  • when the child does not want this physical contact or attention.
  • Frequently walks in on children/teens in the bathroom.
  • Turns to a child for emotional or physical comfort normally shared with adults.
  • Has secret interactions children.
  • Spends excessive time emailing, text messaging or calling children.
  • Insists on or manages to spend uninterrupted time alone with a child.
  • Frequently babysits children for free; takes children on special outings alone; buys children gifts or gives them money for no apparent reason.

Since the courts, judges and politicians will do little or nothing to protect our children from sexual predators, it is up to adults, parents and teachers to educate ourselves and our children on the dangers of sexual abuse.

You can find more tips at: http://www.stopitnow.org/ohc-content/warning-signs

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Over the years I have written songs with lyricist Tom White, who is also my longtime friend and brother in Christ. Even though we are now miles apart we still collaborate on songs through the internet. He recently sent me lyrics to use in a song. I will be working on the music in the coming days, but the words are so intensely descriptive that I couldn’t wait to share them with you.

These Hands by Tom White

They reached down to pick her up, dry her tears then tenderly lifted her off the ground/They brushed off her clothes so gently and then lovingly placed her on the Merry go round/They offer her some ice cream or some candy, a vile threat presented as a special treat/ Warning her that if she shares this secret with anyone she’ll get hurt and end up alone on the street

And those hands—hands that are meant to protect are used to abuse, to injure, and neglect/And those hands—hands that are meant to defend/They rush to crush life to bring about its end/Who will protect the innocent? Who will raise their voice for the silent one? Who will, without fail, shine a light to expose the unspeakable things in shadows done?

Forty five minutes off the bus she finds the streets are cruel/She ran from the prison called home to find more of the same/Her body becomes a token used over and over again by men and women too many to name/She cries out to God for mercy, hoping against hope Where the thought of escape becomes a nightly dream/But each day she’s bought and sold like a piece of meat/And all she can do is silently scream

And those hands—hands that are meant to protect/Are used to abuse, to injure, and neglect/And those hands—hands that are meant to defend/They rush to crush life to bring about its end/Who will protect the innocent? Who will raise their voice for the silent one? Who will, without fail, shine a light to expose the unspeakable things in shadows done?

Your life goes on while children are defiled/The sex traffic lights are all blinking green/If you ignore it soon enough it should go away/Then the problem will be unheard, unknown and unseen/But Christ hears the cries of the least of these/And calls us to be his voice, his hands and feet/To live outside the stained glass windows/So that we, like him, can hear the cries from the street

So that hands—our hands, can truly protect/We can lift up and encourage and deflect/Yes those hands—your hands, can defend/ Like a shepherd, like a brother, like a friend/Protecting the innocent starts with you/Raise your voice and speak up for the silent one/Shine a light so bright that it will expose/The unspeakable things in shadows done

Miryam Rabinowitz is a filmmaker on the east coast who spearheaded “Still Feeling” as an experiment based on her own experiences of childhood sexual abuse. What she found in the research about healing from child sexual abuse was the power of interconnectivity. And that the greatest threat to a victim’s healing process is isolation. The emotional disconnect between victims and their families and communities can be attributed to fear, and an inability to relate to one another.

This film features four artists who are elevating their experiences of child sexual abuse through artistic expression and demonstrate the beauty of human resilience. Rabinowitz  started a Kickstarter campaign where she still needs to raise $15,000 of her $25,000 goal. These funds will be used to begin the production of her first segment.

The goal is for this documentary is for victims to feel validated, and for the people around them to be able to say, “Now I understand.”  

Click here to become a supporter, and visit her website at: www.stillfeeling.org to learn more out the film.

Between 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys are victims of child sexual abuse in the United States every day. The actual number is most likely higher because many victims are coerced or threatened not to tell, so many incidents go unreported. 90% of victims were sexually assaulted by someone they knew well—A step-parent, relative, family friend or caretaker.

Many adult survivors of child sexual abuse struggle with low self-esteem, anxiety attacks, insomnia, depression, and self-destructive behaviors such as alcohol and drug abuse. Only a few have been helped with therapy.

But sadly, many victims of child sexual abuse go unnoticed in our school districts because teachers and school administrators are not properly trained on how to spot a victim of child sexual abuse.

Hope For Victims

A curriculum has been developed by Senator Lauren Book of Florida, (M.S. Ed) with a team of educators and psychologists to teach children critical personal safety information in a age appropriate way called, “Safer, Smarter Kids”. Effectiveness testing has showed a 77% gain in children’s knowledge of critical personal safety information after completing the program.

For more information on the “Safer, Smarter Kids” curriculum you can visit: https://safersmarterkids.org/teachers/curriculum/ 

1 in 5 children are abused, molested and raped in their own homes every day! And even when the perpetrators are arrested and charged, most judges only sentence them to probation! Child abuse and neglect can have long lasting effects on people that cost the United States over $124 billion each year.

http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2012/p0201_child_abuse.html

Millions of abused people are walking around our communities right now struggling with low-self esteem, delinquency, antisocial behavior, substance abuse, anxiety, depression, and suicide. Simply because no one spoke up for them when they were being abused as a child.

So what can we do to prevent this epidemic? Write to your senators and representatives in congress demanding that they introduce bills to hold perpetrators accountable for their crimes against children and reform the Sex Offender Registration law so that it protects our children.

Many people believe that the Sex Offender Registry laws protects children from predators. This is a common misperception. The SOR law in many states does not prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering any facilities, or refrain from living with or socializing with children or vulnerable persons.

Since last year I have written to the Nebraska governor and 20 senators as well as the president. I mailed seven more letters today. I recently received a response from three Nebraska senators letting me know that they have introduced bills in support of stricter punishment for sex offenders. Unfortunately these bills do nothing to protect victims of child sexual abuse.

I am only one person. Imagine what would happen if more people did the same.

Below is a sample letter that you can copy and paste and add names and addresses to. Feel free to forward this to your friends. I believe that together we CAN prevent child sexual abuse.

 

Your Name

Your Address

Senator’s Name

Senator’s Address

Dear Senator,

I am writing to you because many politicians speak out against human sex trafficking and have proposed all kinds of bills to fight against it. But very few (if any) bills have been introduced to protect children from perpetrators who sexually abuse children in their own homes.

1 in 5 girls and 1 in 10 boys are victims of child sexual abuse in the United States. The actual number is most likely higher because many incidents go unreported. 90% of victims were sexually assaulted by someone they knew well—A step-parent, relative, family friend or caretaker. And 69% occurred in the victims’ home. Children’s Advocacy Centers served more than 311,000 children around the country in 2014. Two-thirds of the children served (205,438) disclosed sexual abuse.

The Sex Offender Registration law in most states do not have any restrictions on registered sex offenders. This is a common misperception. The SOR law in these states also does not have the legal jurisdiction to prevent an offender from attending events, limiting employment, restrict an offender from entering any facilities, or refrain from living with or socializing with children or vulnerable persons. The SOR law can only mandate the offender to register his or her required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

The police do their job and arrest these criminals, but then the lawyers and judges allow them to plead guilty to a lesser charge and hand down light sentences or probation that allows them to re-offend, placing the public at risk. Many times there is more severe punishment for someone who abuses animals than for someone who abuses children. This should not be!

There should be a federal law in place to hold perpetrators of sexual child abuse accountable and reforms made to the SOR law so that it protects our most vulnerable citizens—our children.

Sincerely,

Your Signature

Your Printed Name

True obedience or just looking good? 

“What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” (1 Samuel 15:22)

In our human attempts to look good in serving God, there is the temptation to perform certain religious duties rather than to truly obey God. Even good activities, such as giving money to charity, attending church services, or praying in public, are not as important to God as obeying His commands. Disobedience is an act of rebellion, disrespects God’s Word, and is based on looking good to other people rather than to God.

Jesus criticized the teachers of his time for similar practices. Matthew 6 notes three religious activities—fasting, public prayer, and giving to those in need. People often use these things to look good in front of other people rather than to honor God. The problem is not our religious activities or good works, but the disobedience of God’s commands and the desire for approval of people rather than the approval of God.

Charles Spurgen once wrote: “The first thing which God requires of his child is obedience; and though you should give your body to be burned, and all your goods to feed the poor, yet if you do not hearken to the Lord’s precepts, all your formalities shall profit you nothing. It is a blessed thing to be teachable as a little child, but it is a much more blessed thing when one has been taught the lesson, to carry it out to the letter. How many adorn their temples and decorate their priests, but refuse to obey the word of the Lord! My soul, come not thou into their secret.”

Many are up in arms after President Trump told Bill O’Riley in comparing the U.S. to Russia, that “America has killers.” Sometimes the truth upsets people. Especially when it’s an ugly truth.

Targeted killing is a modern euphemism used for the assassination (premeditated killing) of an individual by a state organization or institution outside a judicial procedure or a battlefield. According to a senior CIA official, from July 2008 to June 1, 2011, the CIA launched 220 strikes inside Pakistan. The agency said that some 1,400 suspected militants were killed, along with about thirty civilians. The United States government also carried out the “targeted killing” of Anwar al-Awlaki—A United States citizen who was killed without due process. And two weeks later also killed his 16 year old son without any proof that he was even involved in any terrorist activities. Mayor Marion Barry infamously stated, “Washington should not be called the murder capital of the world. We are the targeted killing capital of the world.”

In a speech before the CIA celebrating its 50th anniversary, President Clinton said: “By necessity, the American people will never know the full story of your courage.” This, of course, is the heart of the problem in the first place. An agency that is above criticism is also above moral behavior and reform. Its secrecy and lack of accountability allows its corruption to grow unchecked. http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/inside-the-cias-kill-list/

In an interview on ‘Face The Nation’ John Dickerson asked Vice-President Mike Pence, “Do you think America is morally superior to Russia?” Although Pence skirted around the question, the answer should have been an unequivocal NO.

So, do I think America is morally superior to Russia? 

Absolutely not! Not when U.N. workers and military personnel are allowed to rape women and children without any repercussions; or when 1 in 5 children are molested and raped in their own homes and the perpetrators are allowed to walk free; or when people are more concerned about a women’s right to abortion than they are about the homeless; when our children are taught how to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancies and STD’s instead of moral purity; and when Bible believing Christians are reduced to name calling and using vulgar language simply because they disagree with someone, then no, we are not morally superior to Russia—or any other country that places human wisdom above God.

When it comes to morals, we have the same age old problem that the rest of the world has: All of us have sinned and are deprived of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) And when a nation collectively rejects God and His wisdom, “Their hands are on what is evil, to do it well; the prince and the judge ask for a bribe, and the great man utters the evil desire of his soul; thus they weave it together.” (Micah 7:1)

Every civilization that rejected God’s laws and instead depended on their own wisdom, fell into moral decay and then finally deteriorated into near destruction. So must we remain under God’s wrath? Are we all doomed for destruction? No! There is another way laid open for us. This is the righteousness of God—That while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8) It is by that faith by which we are delivered and spared destruction. A faith that respects Christ as a Savior, in all his three anointed offices as Prophet, Priest, and King; trusting in him, accepting him, and cleaving to him.

In this way Russians, Americans, Israelis, Palestinians, Mexicans—are all welcome to be partakers of God’s grace through Christ. There is no difference, his righteousness is upon all that believe. It is a free grace; there is nothing in ourselves or our own works that deserve such favor; it comes freely to us. But Christ bought and paid the price for that grace with his own blood.

So let us not trample the blood of Christ beneath our feet by giving in to the temptation to lash out; to pay evil for evil. But instead, let us be a light that will lead the world to our only hope: To repent of our wickedness and return to God’s ways. Remember: “When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.” (Proverbs 29:2 )

I am a sexually abused child.

I cannot make my own choices.

I cannot speak and be heard.

I cannot vote for change in the court system that is rigged against me.

I cannot control what adults do to my body.

I cannot defend myself against my abuser.

I cannot defend myself against my family when they do not believe me.

I am a sexually abused child. And no one speaks out for me.

1 in 5 children like me are sexually abused in the United States. And 90% of us know who our abuser is—Step-parents, family friends, relatives and babysitters.

I was sexually molested by my step-father when I was only 11 years old. My grandparents let me live with them to protect me from my step-father. I was glad to be away from my step-father, but I missed my mom, my bother and my sister. After two years my step-father was finally brought to trial on charges of felony sexual assault of a minor. Unfortunately, I wasn’t allowed to testify and he was allowed to plead guilty to misdemeanor sexual assault and was only sentenced to two years probation and required to register as a sex offender. This is not unusual. Approximately 66% of all child sexual abuse charges end in guilty pleas to lesser charges before trial.

Most child molesters are only sentenced to probation and required to register as a sex offender. Many think the Sex Offender Registry law keeps sex offenders away from places where children play, but in many states the Sex Offender Registry law does not prevent a sex offender from visiting schools, playgrounds, children’s museums or even from living with or socializing with other children. The Sex Offender Registry law can only require that the sex offender register their required information at the sheriff’s office within the required time.

The police do their job and arrest these criminals, but then the lawyers and judges allow them to plead to a lesser charge and hand down light sentences or probation—which places vulnerable children like me in danger. Many times there is more severe punishment for someone who abuses animals than there is for someone who abuses children. I don’t think this is right!

I was lucky. I had grandparents and family members who protected me and helped me get therapy. But many children aren’t so lucky. Some end up in foster care and are abused even more. And lots of times no one believes them, so they run away and end up worse.

You can be a voice for kids like me who cannot speak for themselves:

1. You can write to your senators and people in congress and demand that they make laws that hold convicted sex offenders and the courts accountable for their actions concerning child molesters.

2. You can join an organization that helps prevent sexual child abuse and tell others to join too.

3. You can talk to your children’s school about preventing sexual child abuse.

4. Talk to your kids about sexual child abuse and teach them what to watch out for.

The worst thing you can do is stay quiet about sexual child abuse. If you suspect that a child is in danger, say something.